He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize