just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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