Screwed.edu
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize