All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
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That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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