And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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