I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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