Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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