i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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