We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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