Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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