She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize