Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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