Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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