Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize