the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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