i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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