I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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