When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
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So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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