oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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