we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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