White coat. Heels.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
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if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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