If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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