Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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