dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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