So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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