Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
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I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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