i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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