The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize