im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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