Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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