That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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