Buhtt sex?
i love accidental penises.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize