i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize