She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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