now i know why i became what i already was.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize