OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
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I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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