The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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