ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Fuck appropriateness.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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