that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize