So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize