I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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