areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize