I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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