We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize