Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize