I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
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I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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