I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize