You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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