What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize