Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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